About economics

Someone forwarded an e-mail to me and I am so amused that I have to post it here. I don't know who originally wrote this but it is one witty and humorous take at world economics...

TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You retire on the income.

INDIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You worship them.

PAKISTAN ECONOMICS
You don't have any cows.
You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.
You ask the US for financial aid,
China for military aid,
British for Warplanes,
Italy for machines,
Germany for technology,
French for submarines,
Switzerland for loans,
Russia for drugs
Japan for equipment.
You buy the cows with all this
And claim exploitation by the world.

AMERICAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You profess surprise when the cow drops dead.
You put the blame on some nation with cows & naturally that nation will be a danger to mankind.
You wage a war to save the world and grab the cows.

FRENCH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

GERMAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.

BRITISH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
They are both mad cows.

ITALIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.

SWISS ECONOMICS
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

JAPANESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create cute cartoon cow images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.

RUSSIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 17 cows.
You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka.

CHINESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers.

SINGAPORE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
Believe you have a brilliant government
Need to hire foreign talents to manage your cows
You lost all your cows.

Hahaha!!!

The Oatmeal Challenge

Our Challenge:
Lose weight by 1 to 2 kg within one month (easy peasy!).

Our Plan:
To have only oatmeal (and nothing else) for dinner every night for this month.

Our Method:
1. Go to supermarket.
2. Buy oatmeal (to look for the no-cook variety because we're lazy!)

Notes:
We took the Jungle Oatso Easy Banana Toffee Flavoured No-Cook Oatmeal which comes in a box of 10 sachets (Strawberry and Chocolate flavors are also available, but this one's the winner because it's two flavors in one).

Implementation:
Day 1
Boil 360 ml of water. While waiting, prepare 2 bowls and pour the contents of 2 sachets (1 bowl : 1 sachet). Pour 180 ml of boiling water into each bowl then mix. Wait for about 2 to 3 minutes, then dig in!

Result:
It was over from day 1. Arns could not (and will not) survive on a bowl of oatmeal for dinner... heehee!!!

Windbreaker

Have you ever farted while making out? I have!

I know it's totally gross but how can you stop it? It would be like trying to outrun a high-speed train. And perverse as it seem, I found the situation very funny indeed. I will never forget how my partner's face contorted when he caught the whiff... it was precious!!! He was a bit annoyed at first but we both ended laughing out loud.

Driving to work...

Cheche almost hit the bird...

Roni: Uy, muntik na!
Gina: Bakit ang baba naman ng lipad nun?
Perry: Ibon na mababa ang lipad.
Roni: Ah, e di callboy!

At work...

Kuya Jhun (Overheard): May iba akong nararamdaman, parang nahihirapan akong huminga...
Roni (Butting In): Alam ko yan kuya, may DSS ka!
Kuya Jhun: Anong DSS?
Roni: Delayed Salary Syndrome...